Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Newspaper Headlines

French soccer star reportedly admits to child prostitute sex.
This year at the World Cup there will be two extra balls.  These will have previously belonged to Frank Ribery.  He is now singing soprano at the Paris Opera House.

Abortion Doctor's killer complains of treatment in prison.
I am so sorry, did you think you were supposed to go to Club Med?  I am sure the family who lost their father/husband/brother totally sympathize with you and your whining.  If you think it is bad now, wait till Bubba gets his grubby digits on you.

Jon Bon Jovi shirtless in Miami.
This is news?

Sandra Bullock without wedding ring, smiling.
It is at times like this I am grateful that I am not anyone famous, the poor woman has been dragged through a bush backwards and to stalk her with high power lenses just to see whether she is wearing a ring or not is pathetic.  Don't know who is more pathetic, the paparazzi or the people that buy this crap.  Hubby, if I am not wearing my wedding ring it doesn't mean anything, it just means I had way too many Tequila shots the night before and my hands are swollen from all the salt, okay? 

'Octomom' on Oprah ~ 'I am like a Carnival Attraction'
Yeah if you mean that you are at a Gynecologist Convention that has attraction booths, then yes you are - assume the position bitch!

Oksana Griegoriva describes sudden recent split with Mel Gibson.
I think that Paris Hilton keeps her panties on longer than this relationship lasted and we all know dear Paris.

Sarah Palin:
I have so many headlines to choose from and am so torn as they are all so great!  So I will have to think about which one deserves my Louboutin Shoe Stamp of Approval.  I do have this to say, if another woman tells me that 'She is one of us', my response will be 'The only thing we share in common is boobs, a va-jay-jay and a uterus'.  I wonder what the reaction would be?


  1. I will no longer have to watch David Letterman's top 10, Conan O'Brien's funky hair bobble around, nor read my ex's facebook page. You are freaking hilarious! Where in the hell do you come up with this shit shat? (Tryston's quote :) Lets just be grateful that Paris wears them at all, unlike Ms. "If you seek Amy" or her va-jay-jay, Britanny Spears. The thin lining of cotton is one tiny shield protecting the outside world of the contaminates she carries. Lets just hope the taxi company burned the car as a company loss due the clientele within. The change of the economy has caused trash to go without their 'liners'.

  2. Thank you for letting me know what's going on in the world. The only section I read in the NYT's is the Art/Theater section.

    Can't believe I missed JBJ--but if anyone is to go shirtless....


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