Saturday, October 30, 2010

You voted what?

Conversation overheard:

"I am not voting Democrat or Republican in the next election.  I am voting for the Tea Party*, we need a third party in this country."

Oy vey!

* For my International blog readers, the Tea Party candidates are running on a Republican ticket.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I'll have a plate of worms with a side of crow please.

My life just sucks.  I don't have a job.  I have applied for many jobs and have received a few "at this time..." bull shit and mostly no response at all which really, really irks me.

I finally figured out why I do not have a job.  It is because I am an immigrant from South Africa who is over weight, has an accent, speaks a second language, is right handed, wears glasses, lives in a tree-hugging state, only has one child and drops the f-bomb quite a bit.  So hand me my plate of worms and leave me alone to wallow in my own self pity.

Hey, what is that I see in the distance coming closer at one hell of a rate ready to slap me upside the head.... wha... would that be common sense I see approaching?  No, surely not.  What is that you say Common Sense, that maybe someone more qualified got the job, that the lady who wanted to pay $5.00 an hour to watch her pug and insist you have a college degree is not worth it; the idiot who stipulated that you had to have been born and raised in this city to even consider applying is violating some major labor laws and probably someone you would not want to work for?  Don't you just hate it when Common Sense knocks down your door with her 8 inch Louboutins (yes Common Sense has awesome fashion sense) yelling for you to get up off your ass and start counting your blessings Missy!

I have been thinking about this blog post for a while now as I have seen the beating of the chest and the banging of the drums and the groups all screaming "you hate me because I am.... (fill in the blank)" and then breaking into their little worm eating groups.  Damn are we just an egotistical, narcissistic bunch of whiners or what!

Enter my friend, The Rabbit.  Seriously this is one very smart guy and one willing to be interviewed for my blog that I couldn't find the words to string together to write.  There are many people who define who they are by various titles and I asked Rabbit the following:

There are many that define themselves as being a minority, you are gay, do you?

Personally I don't.  Gay is not WHO I am it is a part of what I am, like left-handed and red headed.  It does not define me as a person.  Who I am attracted to is by no means a definition of who I am - and I would hate to meet a person in which it is, that's pretty fucking shallow. (Rabbit says fuck a lot, it is like a comma in a sentence, just needed to disclose that)

So why then are there so many victims of gender, race, creed etc that say nothing is going to change?

Because they like to play the victim, they enjoy being a false martyr and receiving the pity, plus, if they are a victim it takes away the responsibility of doing something to change it.  They are wounded, they are too weak to cause a change, you should do it for them, where as I am more of the fuck that, give me a brick mentality.

So how come you get it?

I just don't like waiting on people to get off their ass and do something for my benefit.  If I want the change - if I want the benefit- by golly I am gonna put on my combat boots and stomp some ass to make it happen, sitting around and saying everyone hates me accomplishes nothing.  Go eat some worms and really that just makes people, like the straight community, hate you more.  I don't do apathy very well, can you tell?

So while I may not have a job I have an incredible husband who is not only going to school full time, but works 20 hours a week AND volunteers at the wildlife refuge and never once has put pressure on me about finding a job.  I have a roof over my head, I have food on the table, I have Rabbit to kick my ass when I wallow, I have great friends and an incredible family that live on entirely different continents, I have a healthy 18year old son who is currently experiencing the trip of a lifetime, I have my health and most of all, I have my wine. 

I am ready for my crow now. 

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I finally get it.

This whole kerfuffle and what not with Bill O'Reilly and his ignorance about Muslims, I finally understand why many believe him.

I have been asked this question more than once while living in America.

"So, do they also serve turkey at Thanksgiving in South Africa."

The End.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I love quizzes

Rabbit from The Long Journey posted this today.  Please go to his blog to participate, that is if you have a blog dumb ass.  Anyway here is the history of where this came from.  (Love cut and paste)
These are taken from Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton, which he poses to each of his guests at the end of an interview. Lipton always gives credit for this list to French talk show host Bernard Pivot, who hosted Apostrophes from 1975–1990 and Bouillon de Culture from 1990–2001; he often mentions that the list originally came from French novelist Marcel Proust (1871–1922). Proust did not actually create the questionnaire that frequently has his name attached, though he did famously answer two versions of it (once at age 13, and a second time at age 20), and thereby gave the lists a certain notoriety. Their original author is unknown.

Here they are:
What is your favorite word?
Wine - I don't think I would have been a great spy in WW2, just waving a wine gum wrapper would have had me salivating and spilling the beans.

What is your least favorite word?
Cooler - as in Wine Cooler, I mean seriously who ever came up with that concept needs to be put into a vat and rolled around a couple of times.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Intellectual conversation.

What turns you off?

What is your favorite curse word?
Kiss my ass ~ okay I know it is not one word, but it would be the ones I use the most.

What sound or noise do your love?
My husband and son laughing ~ yes I know cheesy, but it is true.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Sarah Palin's voice 

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Being a flight attendant ~ but that would involve losing serious weight, my hips and ass would get stuck in the aisles and then people couldn't get their drink and then people would start to get cranky and then I would have to bitch slap them after I lubed up the hips and ass with Crisco.

What profession would you not like to do?
Working a concession stand at a football game.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Yeah so about those hips and your ass, my bad.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Thank you Rabbit

Just a quick thank you to Rabbit at Magic Gumbo Graphics for my beautiful Nubian header.  Rabbit also created my new blog, Discover Corvallis, soon to be launched.

You can also find Rabbit at The Long Journey to the Middle.

Ta very much Rabbit.