Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Finding the perfect bra
I know that the men reading my blog cannot relate to the frustration of having to find that 'Perfect Bra' ~ your dilemma would be, boxers or briefs! To find the perfect bra is similar to the quest in finding the Holy Grail. There are women who talk about the hopes of one day being the first to discover it, but alas have yet to find it.
When Oprah (yes I know a momentary lapse in judgment of watching her show) raved about the Olga bra, I promptly drove like a mad woman (okay, okay you can quit snickering those who have driven with me) to the specialty bra store to find the Holy Grail. I was handed the bra and given instructions on how to 'fill the cup' by bending over. On standing up I discovered that my boobs were now the perfect chin rest. Lesson #1 ~ it is best to give the sales associate the correct bra size up front, this will save a lot of unnecessary fittings. It is not equivalent to shaving off 20lbs on your drivers license, it is not as if there is a weight requirement to sit in the drivers seat.
After a few unsuccessful fittings the sales associate suggested we measure the twin peaks (or ski slopes in my case). Poor girl I will give her 10 points for trying to be discreet as she taped two measuring tapes together. For a moment there I thought she was going to measure my ass as we are talking some serious DD's in that department.
Another 10 points to her for attempting to hide her surprise at the outcome of the measurements. So back to the Olga bra, I held out my hands eagerly awaiting the Holy Grail, did the required bending and filling of the cup and stood up slowly. Oprah lied. The slopes/flutes were not cooperating. It didn't matter that I bent over a few more times, did some little jumps to make sure they were secure, but on standing up gravity still managed to win. Yes they did fill the cup, but only the bottom half, the top half was gone, sunken in like a cake you remove from the oven too soon. The cute Sales Associate did suggest these padded inserts that push and lift, we tried those, outcome... chin rests. On removing the bra that Oprah lied about, I think I am the first woman in history that managed to wind herself on the releasing of the hounds.
I hear there is now a caution sign in the dressing rooms which reads "Please remove your bra slowly".