What's the number?

Yesterday I walked into the back office at one of my hotels to discover my general manager and two front desk agents in an absolute panic. The general manager was trying to get hold of the corporate office, I asked what the problem was and this was the conversation that transpired.

GM: We went to the gas station as we have to fill up the shuttle for our guests and we don't have the number that is needed to get gas.

FD1: We put the card in and it asks for a number.

Me: Your driver ID, that number?

FD2: No, we have that number, we need the other number.

GM: I am trying to call corporate because they never gave us the other number.

Me: Wait, so when you put in the card it asks for a number?

FD1: Yes the one before the driver number.

Me: You mean the ODOMETER?

All of them together: Yes, that number, corporate didn't give us that number.

Me: *crickets* *Guppy Fish Mouth Movements*

For the record, I did not hire these people.

That's Not My Job.

I have been at my new job since the 19th May and intensely busy would be the only words I have to describe how it has been and that would also be because my brain is on overload so words don't come easy right now. I am almost at that point of being found sitting in a corner, drooling and rocking back and forth.

I have been given six hotels to manage and five of them are migraine inducing with a total of roughly about 170 staff members all having their way of doing things and not without many complaints.  There was a day that I had to hide in my hotel room so that I could get reports done and just try and regroup.

In doing an assessment of what level everyone is at, I have been surprised (I really should not be) at how many staff members have thrown each other under the bus. One of the phrases I have heard the most these past three weeks is "That's not my job." I think I need to turn it into a drinking game, but becoming an alcoholic is not something I plan on being any time soon.

I have dealt with disgruntled employees, unhappy guests because you were unable to move heaven and earth for them, water pipes bursting, staff members smoking pot on their breaks because in Colorado it is legal so they feel they can, swimming pools that won't co-operate and General Managers leaving property and their staff at peak busy times.

The one shining light is that one of the hotels I have would be the hotel I helped with last year - the hotel where the staff fondly named me Ninja Bitch. I 'm now known as Boomerang Bitch. I love having Zac back on my team and he has been wonderful in helping me with pool, heaters, network printers and security camera issues. His hotel is two hours north of where I currently am so I have bribed him with food and beer.

I have found a way to escape the craziness. When it all gets too overwhelming I go to the hotel kitchen and start washing the dishes from either a banquet or the restaurant. At that point I am the highest paid dishwasher the company has. This mindless, soothing, job is what helps me escape and in my mind seeing dirty dishes become clean gives me a huge sense of accomplishment.

There is so much to be done and I know that I can do the job, I just need to tackle one little piece at a time and there have been a few days where I will have an employee in my office asking for something to be done and just for once I would love to say "That's not my job."

Hello Nebraska.

One foot in Nebraska, the other in Iowa

Yes I am back in Nebraska working on another hotel project. There are four positive things about the adventure this time around.

1. The hotel is 6 years old.

2. The maintenance man knows what he is doing.

3. T is with me.

4. I get to drive this again.

Happy Nubian.

When Your Resume Doesn't Match your Skills.

When applying for a job, make sure that your resume does reflect what your skills are. During the hotel rebranding we hired a maintenance person based on his resume and said skills.

The first week that he was there I saw him in the hotel bar having a beer, during lunch. So after he was done with his lunch I approached him and asked him about it.  The conversation went as follows:

Me:  I need to get your keys and you are to please clock out for the rest of the day.

Clueless: I didn't know I couldn't have a beer during my lunch break.

Me: What job have you ever worked at that they allowed you to drink while working, even if it was your lunch break? 

Clueless:  Why do I have to leave?

Me:  If anything happens to you while you are on the job, we are liable. Please give me your keys and clock out. You can come back to work tomorrow.

Clueless:  Can I make up my hours?

Me: *crickets*

When Clueless came back to work I asked him to please fix a gate that was off its hinges.

Yup, all safe and secure.

The next task was to replace the door locks on the housekeeping supply door as the key to the old lock was missing.

Yeah...

Clueless was by far the most challenging person I have ever had to work with. He had an answer for everything and would refer to me as "Lady" and not in a nice way. I once asked him to fix something and he gave me the complete run down of what he was going to do that I put my hand in the air and said "I asked you for the time, not how to make a watch."

The straw that broke the camels back was when I asked him to please repair the wallpaper in a guest room. The seams were lifting and I needed him to glue them down. After 2 hours he came downstairs and told me that the room would have to stay off market for two days for the glue to dry and that he would need to remove the plank he had secured. I didn't think anything of it and went to check the room and yeah...

Please note that the 2x4 is secured into the wall, through the
wallpaper with screws. Large screws. Loved the caution tape
touch.

It was then decided that it was time for him to go. Work was not being completed, he had an answer for everything and his resume was not adding up to his actual work skills.

As I gave him his final paycheck and asked him to sign a form he stood in the lobby and started yelling at me in Spanish. I do not speak the language, but it was very clear that what he was saying was not very nice.  I went into Ninja Bitch mode and asked him to leave the premises before I called the police.

As he is leaving and continuing to yell, he stops and looks at me and says "Can I still put you down as a reference?"

*crickets*

Corn Country.

Source Link

A few months ago my friend R, who is Vice President of Operations for a Hotel Management company, called me and told me about a hotel they were going to take over. The hotel was going into foreclosure status and the bank had asked their company to rebrand and get it back in shape. R asked me if I would be interested in helping. I thought it would be fun, an adventure and exciting. Well I wasn't far off.

R emailed me pictures of the hotel and I immediately responded that I thought I had a couple of root canals scheduled over that time period. The pictures were overwhelming. I arrived in Omaha the 4th July and was at work on the 5th. The first week was insane. We have dealt with an alcoholic who walked sideways and fell all over the place. A guest missing presumed dead. A sleep walking tweaker who was found in another guest bedroom. A husband who punched his wife in the face. A staff member who walked out on her shift as she didn't approve of the schedule I had written up and my personal favorite the maintenance person who had a couple of beers with his lunch as he didn't know he couldn't drink while on the job. After working a 12 hour shift I turned to R and said "Okay, where are the cameras because this isn't real, it can't be real."

I have had many WTF moments and there have been days were I wanted to just give up, but R has kept me laughing and giving me the Benz to drive has been a definite plus. We are now staffed and I think we have a great team in place. Everyday is like Christmas as we receive more packages from corporate to bring the hotel back up to brand standard. When the housekeepers received new vacuums I thought they were going to cry. At the end of every work day I look back at the lobby and I can see what we have accomplished.

We have a long way to go, but seeing things progress helps me deal a little bit better with crab walking drunks.

Some people need to lighten up.

When we were on safari in South Africa we stayed at Botlierskop.   As I have mentioned before this is without a doubt my kind of camping.

On my end table, next to my king size four poster bed,  was a package of Tylenol.  (Would never happen here, but I digress).  I recently found the packet and wanted to share it with you.

Don't you think that is a brilliant piece of advertising?  I thought it was great.  Apparently there are quite a few who didn't see the humor and Protea Hotels has since pulled it from their hotels.

I need a pill to prevent me from bitch slapping such people.  All together now "Thank God for wine."