5 Best decisions of my adult life.

Today I was reading Free Anissa's blog.  She posted what the 5 best decisions of her adult life were.  I don't have any good student stories, I think they are all hiding from me, so I decided to post my 5.

Bear with elephant slobber. Botlierskop Private Game Reserve, South Africa

1.  Marrying Bear
I met Bear in 1999 while organizing a military conference.  I was married at the time, but always admired him and his gentle spirit.  In 2004 after my divorce I was on the Air Force base and who should walk into the office, Bear.  We have been together ever since.  He is my rock, my stability, my calm, my partner, my best friend and my everything.

Benny Beaver and Me.  I had to knock a few 5 year old kids out the way for this picture.

2.  Moving to Oregon
Having lived in Utah for a very long time, we made the decision to move to Oregon.  Bear is a resident of Oregon and we didn't want him to lose residency, plus he needed to complete his degree at OSU.  It was tough to leave my friends who were my adoptive family, but leaving Zion was very easy.  My mantra is... I know I am going straight to heaven as I served my time in hell.

T volunteered for 3 months at Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, Brisbane, Australia

3.  Cutting the umbilical cord and allowing T to take his gap year in Australia, South Africa and England.
For some parents they cut the cord a long time ago.  For me, it took a while.  When I was married to the ex for many years, it was T and I against the world.  As a graduation gift from my mother, T was given the opportunity to take his gap year traveling.  During the time he was gone I got to know me again and T got to grow up.  We are both better for it.

They always look so serious.

4.  Cleaning homes and taking care of 7 boys from Saudi Arabia.
After struggling to find a job in my profession I decided to clean homes.  One thing my parents taught us growing up was that there is no job that is beneath you.  Everything fell into place when I started cleaning for a few students from Saudi Arabia.  I currently have seven that I not only clean for, but take care of.  I am their American Mom and I love what I do.

Harris Bridge, Corvallis, Oregon

5.  Divorcing negative friends and tightening my circle of positive ones.
After the death of a dear friend this year I learned the hard lesson of differentiating between a true friend and a fair weather friend.  My heart still aches sometimes over the loss of these friendships, but also rejoices at having found the true ones.

Fail.

Dear Ex-Husband:

Recently you told T that you feel as though you failed as a parent because he does not have a driver's license.  Let me help you with the top 8 things on my list as to where you actually did fail.

1.  Leaving your wife and son destitute while you moved onto greener pastures.

2.  Refusing to increase child support, your constant mantra ~ "Take me to court."

3.  Refusing to help with co-pays for doctor visits, medicine, tuition, tutors, clothing.

4.  Never attending parent teacher conference or any school event, especially his important capstone project ~ you know the one that he needed in order to graduate high school.

5.  Seeing your son a total of 3 weeks a year when you lived 10 minutes away.

6.  Calling your son on the last year you had Thanksgiving with him to let him know you were not doing anything special so he shouldn't bother going to your home.

7.  Telling your son, while he begged you to spend more time with him, that you now had your own family.

8.  Flying your son out to visit you after you had not seen him for a year and you didn't even take a week off work to spend it with him.   (You have been with the company for 15 years, I am sure you had a little vacation time.)

As I sit and type this I am reminded of the phrase "Nature vs Nurture" because T. is blessed to have Bear in his life.  In eleventh grade T. wrote an essay on his hero.  It wasn't you.

Nubian