Monday, September 30, 2013

Dear College Football Player

Dear College Football Player:

I have seen your tweets about game day, practices and God. You post a lot about God and trusting He knows what is best for you. I am guessing you are facing some challenges right now, but my guessing is purely based on your tweets.

You have a lot of followers on Twitter and you don't follow that many people so the curious person that I am I clicked on the tab to see who you follow, because you do know that we can do that right? We can see everything you post, who you follow and who follows you.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that you follow the following:

So here's the thing, and I am totally going out on a limb here, I'm pretty sure God isn't too thrilled with this. Maybe I need to send you the WWJD bracelet? Maybe you need a lesson in social media that to follow accounts such as the booty bunch above, have a private one. That way the world and your mother doesn't have to see inside your perverted mind.

Maybe the challenges you face is because God isn't too happy with you right now and is probably waiting for you to get your head out of your ass, or in this case, somebody else's.



  1. I know a guy who's a deacon at the church Mrs. C & I used to attend. He's married with two kids now, but even before that I always noticed he had an eye for the ladies. That's why I wasn't surprised when I looked up his Facebook friends & saw that a lot of the people he friended were young women with a penchant for posting a lot of half-naked photos of themselves.

  2. At least his interests are purely on the intellectual plane.

  3. That's hilarious! Dear God, what is with this dude's butt fetish? Sincerely, people skeeved out by hypocritical jock bros.

  4. Are you a preacher? Because all I can say to this is AMEN... Wow.

  5. I agree with Cat. Wow! I sat and read this at coffee yesterday morning and then read it aloud to whoever would listen. I love your gift for summing things up. (You are aware that this idiot probably prays to God to get him some of that butt. God really has nothing more important to do.)


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