Saturday, July 27, 2013

No Regrets.

Uncle M. ~ Dad ~ Uncle L.
My mother called me before I came out to Nebraska to let me know that my dear Uncle L was in the hospital. I called the hospital and after being hung up on five times, I finally got to speak to him. He sounded very weak, but was happy to hear from me.  My Uncle passed away this past week. My last words to my Uncle and his to me were "I love you".

After my father's death I made a promise to myself that I would always tell everyone in my life how much they mean to me and I end the conversation or departure with I love you. Christmas 2001 I was married to the ex and I had asked him if I could call my father on Christmas day. The call would be international. At that time we did not have Skype and calls internationally were very expensive. My ex responded no and that I could wait until New Years Day. New Years Eve 2001 my father was kidnapped and murdered. I never got to tell him that I loved him. Whenever I think back on that day the regret sometimes overwhelms me and the guilt in not standing my ground is yet again a sucker punch to the gut. Yes I know that my father knew I loved him, but I didn't get to say it one last time. My cousins all got to say goodbye to my Uncle and they were with him when he passed. We didn't get the opportunity.

No one likes to think about death and that there is always tomorrow, but what if there wasn't and those closest to you were no longer here?  Did they know how much they meant to you?

Would you have any regrets?


5 comments:

  1. Good post. Expressing love is always the right thing to do, in my view.

    Good wishes to you and your family in your time of sorrow.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Sometimes we take each other for granted that we forget to tell someone how much they mean to us.

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  2. You're right. I'd like to think they do, but maybe I should call my mom again... just to be sure.

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  3. Condolences my dear! I hope things are going well for you. Its always a wonderful feeling to express to someone how you feel and its always an amazing feeling when someone expresses their feelings to you. I have lost a few people in the last month and there was one in particular that I kept putting off calling... Now I regret not contacting him because he died suddenly.

    *Hugs*

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