Monday, November 29, 2010

Keeping you up to date.

Growing up one of the greatest pieces of advice my Mother gave us was to always read the newspaper every day.  You will then always be able to start a conversation and it makes you look really smart.  So today I picked a few headlines for you to have as conversation starters for today.  I added my thoughts, you might not want to add these to your conversation unless the person you are speaking to agrees with me.

Mariah Carey may be expecting twins:

What is it with these celebrities and their over producing ovaries?  My theory is they visit a fertility specialist and ask for the double turkey baster specialty.  Probably not a vision you wanted, but a few cocktails later on today will erase the image.

Cameron Diaz showers with A-Rod:

I sincerely hope that A-Rod has disinfected his rod because that guy gets around!  This is one baseball player who is obviously enamored with his bat.

Pregnant Kim Zolciak Smokes:

I had to actually read the article as I have no clue who this bitch is.  If there is one thing I cannot tolerate is seeing a pregnant woman smoking.  This bitches kid already will be challenged enough with having Zolciak as a mother.

Gweneth Paltrow panicked at not working out:

Stop the presses!  In order to get ready for some movie role she had to gain 20lbs and felt like such a lush with all the alcohol she drank.  I haven't gained weight, I am preparing for a movie role will now be my mantra.

The youngest Kardashian sister, 13, makes her modeling debut:

I weep. 


  1. week indeed - like you I had no idea who Kim Zoliak was until I stumbled on a newspaper article and I really don't care to know a lot more...

  2. David, don't you just love being a journalist ~ you shouldn't suffer from writers block at all, look at all this fodder you could write about!

  3. I had to google her too. Ironically she has a song called Google Me. Guess she already knows the extent of her fame. I'd like to use that same rolled up newspaper on a few of those celebs.

  4. @ Vinny ~ she has a song? Oy Vey ~ I am so not ready for this.

  5. Thanks so much for keeping me up to date. I just don't have the time to read the important news...

  6. @ Wayne ~ I am doing what I can for humanity... so happy I could help ease the load for you

  7. Once he left Seattle and headed to Texas and then eventually NY... ugh. And I'm so with you on pregnant women that continue to smoke. I have a nephew that was premature and only weighed slightly above 4 lbs when he was born because his Mom refused to give up her precious cigarettes. So wrong.

  8. @ Brooke ~ my son was a preemie ~ I was in hospital from 25 weeks to 36 weeks and he was born during an earthquake. 4 lbs, 9 oz. No I did not smoke, but going through what I did was traumatic. Sometimes there are people out there that are just a titch selfish, but that is for another blog. ;)

  9. Wow! Born during an earthquake! Now that could be another blog as well.... :)

  10. You're weeping because that little Kardashian tramp is butt ass ugly right?

    That's why I'm weeping.

  11. @ tulpen ~ totally weeping for her ugliness, she should be on disability for being so ugly.

  12. Tis true but my day job usually involves writing about local politics (head hits the desk) - however my paper has a new blog called The Daily Pop which gives one scope to rant about the Kardashians. The downside is I'd probably have t watch the show first.

  13. "This is one baseball player who is obviously enamored with his bat."

    My laugh of the day. Love it!

  14. there's a very popular Mark Twain maxim, "If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."

    This is why I read books. Newspapers, online journalism, TV news, or any medium outlet that requires speedy processing is not a reliable source of information. Not even back at its infancy in the late 19th century.

  15. Those are not twins... That is the extra pack of bologna she ate for breakfast...

    C'mon people.

    And if Kim's child comes out brain damaged from her smoking it's still better off... Have you seen the other kids in that family? Window licking would be a step UP.

    Going to hell now. Will you give my handbasket a push?


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