Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Phone Call.

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This past weekend I received a phone call from my ex-husband, I had no idea what to expect and when I heard what he had to say and his concern for me I was speechless. (And we all know what a feat that is in itself.) Years ago I thought I had let go of the anger and the animosity that I felt towards him and my ex-best friend.

When you think you have things figured out the Universe quietly shows you that you're still a newbie to the game and that the lesson is never ending. I thought that I had let things go, that I had moved forward, but the phone conversation proved otherwise. To hear him say how sorry he was for what he put me through years ago had me thinking that this was a dream. Our conversation lasted over an hour and there were tears, on both parts. His concern for me was I must admit very overwhelming. I kept on looking at the phone thinking that this wasn't real.

T. was in the room and overheard my side of the conversation and I know that my ex and I both showed him that even though we had parted ways 11 years ago, we still have respect and a different kind of love for each other.

I thought that after speaking to my ex that things couldn't get more surreal than no sooner I get a text from his wife, who was my best friend. That blew me out of the water, I think I did the fish mouth water motion. A two hour conversation followed and once again there were tears on both sides of the phone. Her apology was heartfelt and accepted and it was at that moment I felt as though a weight, that I thought was lifted years ago, just lift and evaporate.

I have currently been beating myself up about the choices I have made and how they have affected T. My son is my world and all I ever wanted for him was to be healthy, happy and stable. This weekend I know that I taught T. the lesson of forgiveness and I pray that he will find it in his heart one day to forgive the person who has hurt him and who he trusted and loved for many years.

As parents we are hard on ourselves about all the wrong things we did. We need to start focusing on all the great lessons we have imparted to our children. Teaching a child the act of forgiveness is a gift that is truly priceless and most importantly the freedom to be able to walk away from the restrictive, choking chains of anger and hostility.

12 comments:

  1. I learnt that lesson from our beautiful Mother and I agree with you. It is an incredibly important one.

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    1. Yes, we have had an awesome example of humility and kindness in our Mother.

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  2. Wow. I don't know how I'd react in your situation. Forgiveness for something like that is hard to give. You are strong. That's impressive.

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  3. Pickleope’s right. You are strong. I’m happy for you all for being able to get to this point.

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    1. Forgiveness takes time. It is when we are truly ready to just let it go and let it be.

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  4. Forgiveness is so hard, but worthy and healing. Sending you good wishes.

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    1. Thank you. If I got the phone call 6 years ago I would have felt differently.

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  5. You're a better person than me... I have trouble forgiving, and forgetting.

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    1. It's there... you just need to let your cynical self embrace it.

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  6. Forgiveness is so healthy and it's much easier to forgive when the repentance is sincere. Still, don't you want to just smack some people and say, "What the hell were you thinking?!?"?

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    1. Amen! My response at first was "Why didn't you think I was worth it?"

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